Insanity Is Freedom
The mental hospital feels like the lowest place I’ve ever been to. All while feeling like the safest place I’ve ever been to.
It’s certainly been the most profound experience I’ve had to date.
In the hospital, I never had to worry about checking my phone and the anxiety that comes with that. I never had to worry about the fear of falling asleep, and waking up in the morning, and pretending to the world that I’m ok.
In fact, I didn’t have to worry about dealing with the world. At all.
It was a different world.
A world where I watched people, who without even realizing it, were ok with being completely themselves. No matter how bizarre their behavior may seem to the average mind.
People would openly cry.
Scream.
Laugh.
Be angry.
Be happy.
Be themselves without fear of the outer world judging them. Because it was a world where it was safe and acceptable to do that amongst ourselves.
I saw people share every part of who they are. I saw people being vulnerable and expressive like I’ve never seen in my entire life. I saw them share every bite of food with each other, eat from the same fork, sip from the same cup. I watched adults wipe snot from each other's noses, wipe each other's drool, dried each other’s tears.
There’s something inexplicably beautiful and profound about watching adults become pure and innocent again as if they were children.
I heard some of the most profound things I’ve ever heard in my life. I met the most compassionate and gentle human beings I have ever met.
I learned to understand what it was like to not take it personally when someone is having a bad day, when the same friend of yesterday barks insults at you at a simple greeting of “Hello” during the present day.
I watched people being consoled without an ounce of judgment while being overwhelmed by their inability to open a bottle of water. I realized that compassion is not correlated to a thorough understanding of each other, but is rooted in acknowledging our humanity, being kind despite our differences, and acting kind… simply because we need it .
For the first time in my life I understood empathy.
Maybe it takes losing our minds to truly find it.
As for the staff, that’s a different story.