After Therapy Care
Now here’s a topic overlooked: After therapy care.
After several failed attempts at therapy, I started assessing the reasons for this. Why was it so difficult for me and why did I hate it so much?
Other than my struggle to find the right therapist who would be a good fit for my eccentric personality, I found one common denominator to my previous disdain for therapy. I hated it, because I hate being alone after therapy.
So apparently, I needed a support system and a safe place after being in therapy. Wow. That blew my mind.
Therapy in the past for me felt like a doctor reopening festering wounds that I patched myself, to see how bad it is, and figure out how to treat them.
The initial stage of having these wounds examined is excruciating. They have to be looked at, touched, tested, poked around and squeezed a little. Then after that phase, the diagnosis. Then the treatment. All of which were very painful for me. After each phase of having my wounds checked, I then had to go home and be alone. In pain. That’s how therapy was for me.
I found that the deficit of not having a support post therapy made me not want to do it, because it felt counterproductive, as if my pursuit for help was causing more harm.
Acknowledging this made me start to really think about post therapy care. What kind of rehabilitation could I provide for myself since I had no one to go home to? What could I give myself to aid in my post therapy blues? I realized how much work getting help was, and going to a therapist was just one step in doing the self work.
I began coming up with my “feel good self care post therapy” routine. On the days when it was rough, I’d give myself time to cry, feel everything, assess, and let the pain pass through me. I would literally set an alarm and time myself. Then I’d get up and do something nice for myself. Take a long bath and do a facial if I didn’t feel like going out and being around anyone. Put makeup on and get pretty then take myself out to dinner/lunch. Stay in and watch comedies and things that would make me laugh. Go see a friend.
It was always important to me to remind myself to see it as a visit to the doctor, I’m on a journey to getting better, do the things the doctor said, and not see the post feeling as a state of being, but just a little discomfort after a doctor’s visit.
Those are the days I put the most effort in loving myself. And gently so. Those are the days my affirmations are the most important. Having a functional support system is a blessing, especially on the journey of treatment with mental illnesses. However, if you do not have a support system, it should not be a deterrent in help. Trust me, I know how hard it is doing this alone because that is my reality. I speak from experience when I tell you, you’ll get through this crafting the support within yourself to do.
To me, self love is not a feeling, but a daily practice necessary as part of self care and medicine in doing our part to aid in our treatment. It can get scary, lonely, and painful after therapy and getting help in general with all of this. And doing it alone is unnerving and terrifying. But from experience, I can tell you, that no matter how alone you feel, how bad some days seem and how painful it is, it gets better because you are actually doing the work.
