The Villains of Mental Health

How many times have you bashed your narcissistic ex? How many times have you laughed at someone for being delusional? How many times have you called someone “Bipolar?” How many times have you ostracized someone for their explosive anger? Have you ever villainized someone for their constant mood swings and split personality? What about annihilating someone for having chronic insecurities and self hatred? 

Like many of you, I’ve been guilty of a lot of these. 

One day, in one of my infamous rants on my IG story, I was going off about narcissistic men after coming out of a horrible breakup. hile I was making some valid, but harsh, points co-signed by several women, my friend and colleague at my record label, Christine, reached out to me to ask if I knew that narcissism is a personality disorder and a form of mental illness. 

Wow, I had no idea.

She sent me a Twitter thread on why it is ableist to use “narcissist” when we really mean to use the word “abuser” and by the end of the thread, I was not only  more informed, but empathetic, shocked, saddened and felt an immediate need to right my wrongs. The first was by removing the posts.

This jumpstarted my research into personality disorders and the even more villainized, intolerable side of mental health. Personality disorders are actual mental illnesses often referred to as “traits” and in my opinion, can sometimes be even more intense, because unlike other mental illnesses - eg. Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia, they are not episodic– they are somewhat present all the time.

Personality disorders are divided into three clusters: Cluster A, B, and C. 

Cluster A consists of: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal. 

Cluster B: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissistic. 

Cluster C: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive. 

Just like many other mental illness, personality disorders can be developed through trauma in the formative years that take shape in adolescence. In previous blogs I’ve written about how Post-traumatic Stress Disorder can restructure our brain resulting in mental illnesses.

Often we still have a fantasized idea of what that should look like. It could look like an abused becoming the abuser. It could look like the opposite of what you think a victim should look like. It could look like Narcissistic Personality Disorder too.

How does PTSD influence personality disorders? What is the difference between Aileen Wuornos, Ted Bundy and David Berkowitz? All serial killers.

Wuornos was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Her parents separated when she was 4yrs old, her dad did time in a mental institution for child molestation, she herself was sexually abused as a child, she was sent to live with grandparents, she was ganged raped by her high school friends at 14yrs old, had a baby from another rape and was kicked out of the house by her grandfather because of this, which by the way– is said to be her actual father.

Bundy, who was diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder in 2007 by a group of some 73 psychologists at the University of Kentucky, also had a childhood riddled with trauma. Bundy, who’s often referred to as a “narcissist” by many who’ve seen countless documentaries about him, experienced physical and psychological abuse at the hands of his grandfather.

It was said that his grandfather was incredibly violent and also abusive to animals. For many years of his childhood he was made to believe that his grandparents were his actual parents and his mom was his sister.

Berkowitz, aka Son of Sam, was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. He said his neighbors’ dog told him to kill. He was raised by adopted parents in the Bronx and suffered immense trauma at the loss of his adoptive mother by cancer. He joined the army and was one of the best marksmen. Berkowitz would sign the letters he’d send to the newspapers as the “Son of Sam” referencing a demon that he said lived inside the dog owned by he neighbor Sam. 

Within the same mental health community that is already plagued by stigmatization, there exists internal stigmas, ableism and ostracism. 

It got me thinking about the “Why’s?” Was this segregation created by the difference in illnesses because they are  grouped by some being constant vs episodic? Does one group deserve more empathy than the other because of the ableist view that people with personality disorders seem more able to do something about their “traits,” as opposed to someone in psychosis who has no control and require immediate medical attention? 

Was the distinction made because of a serge of occasional chemical imbalance vs a psychologically reconstructed but functioning brain? Is it because of the alarming disparity in the medical treatment and health care’s approach to treating personality disorders as opposed to other mental illnesses? 

Is there a distinction in the peak of untreated mental illnesses; case in point Aileen Wuornos, Ted Bundy and David Berkowitz? Wuornos and Bundy were diagnosed with personality disorders which are “trait” illnesses, but Berkowitz was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia which is “episodic.” Is there a distinction between triggered psychosis and someone suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder lashing out because they are triggered by fear or hurt? Granted, while the end result of these actions may vary, my point is that it comes from the same place of untreated mental illnesses. 

By no means am I saying that we should leave ourselves open to being susceptible to harm by someone who is unwell, just like doctors wouldn’t attend to a bleeding patient without gloves. 

What I’m saying is that the same empathy we muster up to exercise for anxiety disorders, your Schizophrenic relative weak and heavily medicated coming out of psychosis, or your favorite celebrity on TV tearfully talking about their struggle with mental health and convincing you to buy the next pharmaceutical drug– is the same way we should educate ourselves about personality disorders, see them as legitimate forms of mental illnesses too and show some empathy. 

The next time you want to rant about your “narcissistic ex” as I ignorantly did, make sure you know the difference between a degenerate evil abuser (like mine was) and someone who suffers from a personality disorder. And if he/she is the latter, and checks all the boxes, they deserve empathy and they deserve to get help too. 

Also, thank you Christine.